Let’s be honest… the holidays can be a time of joy and connection but also bring challenges that test our emotional and mental well-being. Family dynamics can be triggering and difficult. By preparing with intentional tools and strategies, you can navigate family gatherings with greater ease, protecting your peace while making space for meaningful moments. Here’s how:

1. Draw Boundaries with Yourself

Setting boundaries is key to maintaining emotional balance. Decide ahead of time what behaviors, comments, or dynamics you are willing to tolerate, and commit to stepping away when those limits are crossed. If things become overwhelming, excuse yourself for a short break—a walk outside, or even five minutes of mindful breathing in the bathroom, can reset your mindset.
How-to: Practice a grounding exercise, like inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. Keep a comforting mantra in mind, such as, “It’s okay to take care of myself.”

2. Don’t Engage in Triggering Conversations and Topics

Family gatherings often come with sensitive discussions, whether about politics, religion, or past grievances. Recognize when a topic is spiraling and consciously choose not to engage. You can redirect the conversation or politely excuse yourself.
How-to: Prepare a few neutral phrases, like “I’d rather not discuss that right now” or “Let’s focus on enjoying the day,” to pivot away from uncomfortable subjects.

3. Focus on the Positive and Find the Joy

Shift your attention to the aspects of the gathering that bring you happiness—whether it’s the food, traditions, or spending time with loved ones. Cultivating gratitude for these moments can help offset stress and negativity.
How-to: Take mental snapshots of moments that warm your heart. At the end of the day, jot down three things you’re grateful for to solidify the positive experience.

4. Limit Shared Time Based on Your Emotional Tolerance

You don’t need to stay longer than you’re emotionally comfortable with. Plan your visit in a way that works for your energy levels and be mindful of how long you can meaningfully engage before burnout sets in.
How-to: Use a timer or alarm as a gentle reminder to check in with yourself after a set amount of time. If you feel drained, it’s okay to leave earlier than planned.

5. Let Go of Trying to ‘Show Up Perfect’

The pressure to impress or live up to family expectations can be exhausting. Remember, you don’t need to prove your worth through perfection. Embrace authenticity and allow yourself to simply be present.
How-to: Before the gathering, write down one or two positive self-reminders to draw upon, such as “I am enough as I am,” to remind yourself in those moments when self-doubt creeps in.

6. Focus on Balance When It Comes to Food and Alcohol

Overindulging can amplify feelings of guilt or discomfort later. Instead, aim for balance—enjoy holiday treats without going overboard, and stay mindful of your alcohol intake to maintain emotional clarity.
How-to: Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or mocktails, and start your meal with a plate of veggies or protein to avoid overloading on sugar.

7. Eat and Move!

Both skipping meals and also staying sedentary after a big meal both can add fuel to the fire of emotional unbalance around family. With eating and then not moving your body, not only does this spike glucose levels but can take a toll on your energy and mood. When skipping meals before a big family gathering you risk showing up ‘hangry’ or having less emotional capacity for stressors that may arise. Nourish your body with balanced meals and incorporate movement to keep your spirits up.
How-to: Start the day with a short yoga flow or a brisk walk and ensure you don’t arrive hungry by having a light, nutritious snack beforehand. After your big holiday meal, take a 15–30-minute walk… this can provide valuable alone time to reset and rebalance or a fun and meaningful family activity.

8. Schedule Time After for Self-Care and Restorative ‘You Time’

Post-gathering recovery is just as important as preparation. Plan for self-care activities to decompress and recharge after the holidays.
How-to: Set aside an evening for activities you enjoy, like reading, journaling, or taking a long bath, and leave room for a good night’s sleep.

9. It’s Okay to Bow Out

If attending a gathering feels more harmful than helpful, give yourself permission to skip it. Your mental health and well-being come first.
How-to: Communicate your decision respectfully, offering an alternative to connect, such as a video call or a later one-on-one visit.

By embracing these tools, you can protect your mental health and emotional well-being while still engaging meaningfully with loved ones this holiday season. Remember, thriving during the holidays isn’t about perfection—it’s about prioritizing your peace and joy. Breathe & be intentional… you’ve got this!