Wellbeing Tools to Thrive During Family Holiday Gatherings

Let’s be honest… the holidays can be a time of joy and connection but also bring challenges that test our emotional and mental well-being. Family dynamics can be triggering and difficult. By preparing with intentional tools and strategies, you can navigate family gatherings with greater ease, protecting your peace while making space for meaningful moments. Here’s how:

  1. Draw Boundaries with Yourself

Setting boundaries is key to maintaining emotional balance. Decide ahead of time what behaviors, comments, or dynamics you are willing to tolerate, and commit to stepping away when those limits are crossed. If things become overwhelming, excuse yourself for a short break—a walk outside, or even five minutes of mindful breathing in the bathroom, can reset your mindset.
How-to: Practice a grounding exercise, like inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. Keep a comforting mantra in mind, such as, “It’s okay to take care of myself.”

  1. Don’t Engage in Triggering Conversations and Topics

Family gatherings often come with sensitive discussions, whether about politics, religion, or past grievances. Recognize when a topic is spiraling and consciously choose not to engage. You can redirect the conversation or politely excuse yourself.
How-to: Prepare a few neutral phrases, like “I’d rather not discuss that right now” or “Let’s focus on enjoying the day,” to pivot away from uncomfortable subjects.

  1. Focus on the Positive and Find the Joy

Shift your attention to the aspects of the gathering that bring you happiness—whether it’s the food, traditions, or spending time with loved ones. Cultivating gratitude for these moments can help offset stress and negativity.
How-to: Take mental snapshots of moments that warm your heart. At the end of the day, jot down three things you’re grateful for to solidify the positive experience.

  1. Limit Shared Time Based on Your Emotional Tolerance

You don’t need to stay longer than you’re emotionally comfortable with. Plan your visit in a way that works for your energy levels and be mindful of how long you can meaningfully engage before burnout sets in.
How-to: Use a timer or alarm as a gentle reminder to check in with yourself after a set amount of time. If you feel drained, it’s okay to leave earlier than planned.

  1. Let Go of Trying to ‘Show Up Perfect’

The pressure to impress or live up to family expectations can be exhausting. Remember, you don’t need to prove your worth through perfection. Embrace authenticity and allow yourself to simply be present.
How-to: Before the gathering, write down one or two positive self-reminders to draw upon, such as “I am enough as I am,” to remind yourself in those moments when self-doubt creeps in.

  1. Focus on Balance When It Comes to Food and Alcohol

Overindulging can amplify feelings of guilt or discomfort later. Instead, aim for balance—enjoy holiday treats without going overboard, and stay mindful of your alcohol intake to maintain emotional clarity.
How-to: Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or mocktails, and start your meal with a plate of veggies or protein to avoid overloading on sugar.

  1. Eat and Move!

Both skipping meals and also staying sedentary after a big meal both can add fuel to the fire of emotional unbalance around family. With eating and then not moving your body, not only does this spike glucose levels but can take a toll on your energy and mood. When skipping meals before a big family gathering you risk showing up ‘hangry’ or having less emotional capacity for stressors that may arise. Nourish your body with balanced meals and incorporate movement to keep your spirits up.
How-to: Start the day with a short yoga flow or a brisk walk and ensure you don’t arrive hungry by having a light, nutritious snack beforehand. After your big holiday meal, take a 15–30-minute walk… this can provide valuable alone time to reset and rebalance or a fun and meaningful family activity.

  1. Schedule Time After for Self-Care and Restorative ‘You Time’

Post-gathering recovery is just as important as preparation. Plan for self-care activities to decompress and recharge after the holidays.
How-to: Set aside an evening for activities you enjoy, like reading, journaling, or taking a long bath, and leave room for a good night’s sleep.

  1. It’s Okay to Bow Out

If attending a gathering feels more harmful than helpful, give yourself permission to skip it. Your mental health and well-being come first.
How-to: Communicate your decision respectfully, offering an alternative to connect, such as a video call or a later one-on-one visit.

By embracing these tools, you can protect your mental health and emotional well-being while still engaging meaningfully with loved ones this holiday season. Remember, thriving during the holidays isn’t about perfection—it’s about prioritizing your peace and joy. Breathe & be intentional… you’ve got this!

Fall Wellness Resource Guide

As summer draws to a close and you are ramping up for the fall, back to school, back to goals and setting plans for the different holiday seasons, it is time for some resources! To save you time and energy, I have compiled a list of some of my favorite blogs, articles and videos to help you thrive this season. It is always important to be both updating and expanding your personal knowledge and the resources you have on deck to support you and your family’s wellness.

Here are some links to helpful articles, resources, studies, and even holistic items that may be of service to you throughout this upcoming season –

Fall Favorite Articles

Fall Favorite Healthy Recipes

Back to School Parenting Resources

Optimizing Health for Fall – Healthy Lifestyle & Functional Medicine

Emotional Wellness & Wellbeing

Career & Finances

Spiritual and Self-Development Gems

Relationship Resources

Videos, Podcasts, and Apps… oh My!

Mental Detox, A Game Changer!

We can all relate to how toxic our thought life can be at times. We can easily get sucked into negative and spiraling thoughts. Anxiety filled thoughts. Fearful thoughts. Anger thoughts. Resentful thoughts and more. Once our thought life becomes toxic it sends signals not only to trigger emotions but also to trigger our fight or flight response. This slows digestion, reduces our ability to think with clarity and even disrupts our hormone balance and hormone production.

If you have ever heard the phrase ‘holding onto a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die’? Yup, that is one hundred percent a reality within our physiological response to negative and toxic thoughts and thought patterns. Additionally, our self-talk or the thoughts we think about ourselves, when these become negative, they also have a toxic effect on our system. There are also real physical toxins that our mind and brain can be impacted by.

First, it is important to understand what is toxic to the mind (brain) and entire mental system (brain + though life + mindset)? Here are a few:

  • Environmental toxins (the air & pollutants)
  • Foods, beauty products and household products with harmful chemicals in them
  • Stress (mental, physical & emotional stress)
  • Negative thoughts (mind set, self-perception, self-talk & thinking patterns)

How toxins effect the mind (brain) and entire mental system (brain + though life + mindset) –

  • Negative and toxic thoughts and mindsets impact mental and physical health significantly! They even change your body Ph. level and the ability to digest and absorb nutrients properly
  • Impact brain health and can cause brain fog, cause headaches, lead to increased anxiety & depression as well as decrease overall brain function
  • Decrease the brains ability to make and balance hormones and neurotransmitters
  • Decrease the ability to mentally focus

Detoxing and cleansing the mind (brain) and entire mental system (brain + though life + mindset) requires both an outside-in approach AND an inside-out approach simultaneously!

Outside-in detoxing requires behavior changes, supplements and nutritional changes to eliminate toxins and also new, healthier choices.

Inside-out detoxing detoxing requires learning new tools (and applying them) to increase balance in your thought life, overcoming limiting beliefs about yourself and others as well as shifting your overall mindset towards positivity.

What are some of the benefits that you can experience after detoxing and cleansing the mind (brain) and entire mental system (brain + though life + mindset) –

  • A more peaceful thought life
  • Optimized brain function
  • Decrease in health issues
  • Decrease in anxiety and depression symptoms
  • More clarity
  • More joy!

I am so passionate about cleansing and rebalancing the WHOLE self; mind, body, heart & spirit that I created a FREE 30-Day program in partnership with Nupeutics Naturals. You can enroll HERE

 

 

 

The Importance of Emotional Detox and Cleansing

We have all heard of cleanses and detox programs for the body. But what about our emotions??? Yes, our heart can become highly toxic and effect not only our emotional and mental wellbeing and health, it can have a massive negative impact on our physical and spiritual health as well.

First, it is important to understand what is toxic to the heart (emotional system; emotions, relationships with self and others). Here are a few:

  • Heavy metals and toxins – yes these create toxicity that impacts our emotions!
  • Stress (mental, physical & emotional stress)
  • Stuck or unprocessed negative emotions (such as anger, resentment, fear, guilt & shame)

How these toxic things effect the the heart (emotional system; emotions, relationships with self and others) –

  • Negative and toxic emotions and relationships (with yourself and with others) impact emotional, mental and physical health significantly! They even change your body Ph. level and the ability to digest and absorb nutrients properly
  • Can trigger negative DNA markers
  • Decreases immune system function
  • Can (when emotions are suppressed or stored long-term) lead to diseases such as cancer and heart conditions
  • Impact your ability to speak your truth in a kind and loving way, as well as to create and maintain healthy boundaries
  • Decrease the brains ability to remain emotionally balanced
  • Decrease the ability to react appropriately
  • Decreases your ability to show up for yourself and others at your best
  • Gut issues

Detoxing and cleansing the the heart (emotional system; emotions, relationships with self and others) requires both an outside-in approach AND an inside-out approach simultaneously!

Outside-in detoxing requires behavior changes in HOW you react outwardly to negative emotions, releasing negative emotions (or clearing them), supplements and nutritional changes to eliminate toxins and also new, healthier choices as well as honoring your boundaries through action.

Inside-out emotional detoxing requires learning new tools (and applying them) to increase balance in your thought life, resolving core emotional issues, changing HOW you process emotions & forgiveness.

What are some of the benefits that you can experience after detoxing and cleansing the heart (emotional system; emotions, relationships with self and others) –

  • More fulfilling & harmonious relationships with self and others
  • Optimized immune system
  • A more balanced emotional life
  • Decrease in depression & anxiety symptoms
  • Ability to respond to negative emotions in a healthier way
  • More joy!

I am so passionate about cleansing and rebalancing the WHOLE self; mind, body, heart & spirit that I created a FREE 30-Day program in partnership with Nupeutics Naturals. You can enroll HERE

Building a Healthy Relationship with Fear

The emotion of fear gets a bad rap. As a teacher, writer and coach I have seen, read and heard countless blogs, posts, articles, books and conversations about how fear must be eradicated and removed from life. Let’s take a quick step back and access this from a psychological and biological position.

 

  • All emotions are responses that are wired into our makeup and are part of the full spectrum of human emotions and experiences.

 

  • Fear is one of the largest tools for feedback to ensure safety and survival.

 

  • It is impossible to remove our ‘fight or flight’ responses.

 

When we have a healthy relationship with fear it can be a guide versus a roadblock!

 

So why can fear be so awful and crippling at times? How can we learn to harness this normal emotion to better serve us? How can we work with fear versus against it? How can we better understand ourselves and our life through fear? How can we move beyond the negative impacts of fear? How can we experience and create a healthier and more balanced relationship with fear?

 

When we have an unbalanced or unhealthy relationship with fear it can block us from moving forward, having clarity, making good choices, effectively solving problems and overcoming life’s challenges, stressors and obstacles.

 

First, let’s understand health fear…

 

Fear is a response that is meant to warn us and keep us safe. Unfortunately, many people have become ‘triggered’ into a fight or flight or fear based state 24/7 and thus respond to non-threatening issues as if they were life threatening on a physiological level. This means that the things that may not normally cause fear or stress do.

 

Let’s try a shift in our perspective about fear…

 

What if, just what if FEAR was actually there to help you?

What if FEAR was trying to work for your highest good?

 

Here are some simple steps to begin shifting your relationship with FEAR:

 

  1. Reset

Pause and reset versus reacting to fear.

Things like meditation, yoga and even simple breathing exercises can help us get back to a neutral place which will better enable us to evaluate our fear more effectively.

 

  1. Ask Yourself Powerful Questions

Engage your brain in order to get clarity.

Instead of allowing your mind to run away with the fear, as yourself powerful questions that will lead to self-discovery, effective problem solving and solutions. Questions like, ‘why am I feeling fear’, ‘what feedback or alert message is fear trying to share with me’?

 

  1. Assess

Analyze the situation.

Look at the situation that is causing the fear objectively and try to see the bigger picture, the broader meaning or the direction it is leading you towards and ask yourself WHY & HOW.

 

  1. Breath Through It

Process and release the negative aspects of the emotion while keeping the lesson or alert.

Feeling our feelings, then processing them and letting it go or releasing it is an important way to not only move forward more effectively but also to bring more balance to you mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually.

 

  1. Make a Plan

Based on your self-discovery and analysis make a plan of actionable steps.

Write out very specific action steps to take to begin moving towards solutions or achieving goals.

 

  1. Get Support

Gain the tools, techniques, mentors, friends or coaches to help you!

Don’t go it alone! Everyone can relate to feelings of fear and also sometimes getting stuck because of them. Talk about it with friends and loved ones, research tools and techniques or even see a life coach (preferably an Integrative Life Coach iwacoaching.com) who can help you become more equipped to handle fear and stressors as well as to overcome their negative effects and successfully move forward.

 

Living A Holistic Life

Living A Holistic Life

By Rachel Eva, C.HT, M.NLP, MTILC

Founder of IWA (Integrative Wellness Academy), Integrative Life Coach & Health Practitioner

 

We hear the word holistic and holism tossed around a lot in integrative wellness and natural medicine. These terms have already flooded the health and wellness markets and made their way into popular culture.

 

But what exactly does this mean?

What is ‘holism’ and how can it be ‘lived’ in everyday life?

 

As the founder of IWA (Integrative Wellness Academy), myself and the IWA team trains and certifies thousands of integrative life coaches each year. As part of how we teach our students to coach their clients we educate them on holism as a core element to help their clients achieve health, success and balance through applying ‘holism’ through the Holistic Life Model, which I will share with you!

 

First, let’s define holistic and holism so you can get some simple clarity. According to dictionary.com, here are the definitions:

 

Holistic –

 

Philosophy – characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.

Medicine – characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical symptoms of a disease.

 

Holism –

 

The theory that parts of a whole are in intimate interconnection, such that they cannot exist independently of the whole, or cannot be understood without reference to the whole, which is thus regarded as greater than the sum of its parts. Holism is often applied to mental states, language, and ecology.

 

 

What does this mean in more simplistic and applicable terms?

 

Every part of us, our minds (mental), bodies (physical), emotions (emotional) and spirits (spiritual) are interconnected and have an effect on each other, as well as an effect on each of the major areas of life; health, career & finances, family & relationships, spirituality & self-development. Furthermore, each of the major areas of our life have an effect on all aspects or parts of self (the 4 systems); mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. We need to VIEW and CARE care for the whole picture collectively, versus just a few parts in order to live the best life possible.

 

Before I dive in and introduce you to the Holistic Life Model, I need to further share my definitions with you for the four systems or parts of self:

 

Mental –


The Mental System is your thought life, including your self-perception and thought patterns as well as our beliefs and conscious perceptions. This is also the way we view other things out in the world.

 

Emotional –

 

The Emotional System are your feelings and your emotions. It’s also your relationships with other people and also the relationship you have with yourself.

 

Physical =

 

The Physical System is your physical health, as well as the tangible physical things you have in our life.

 

Spiritual –

 

The Spiritual System is our true-self, our personal development, connection to community, world and our connection to a higher power, whatever that definition is or is not for you.

 

The Holistic Life Model

 

The holistic Life Model is living your life, caring for, balancing and bringing health to all aspects of self and all major areas of life, in other words, caring for the whole self with a ‘big picture’ approach.

 

So how exactly can you begin to care for and bring balance to all of these aspects of self? Here are a few steps to begin moving your life towards aligning with and practicing the Holistic Life Model:

 

  1. Set an intention to pay attention to and care for ALL of the systems/aspects of self and all of the major areas of life
  2. Put this intention into daily practice through actions!
  3. Make a ‘to do’ list of actions you can take to bring more wellness, health and balance to each system and to each major area of your life
  4. Schedule it! Put these actions steps into your schedule and stick to them

 

Remember it’s a process, not an event and the goal is to MOVE towards what you want to have, do, be, experience and achieve!

Self-Care – The Art of the Home Spa Experience

Self-care is a huge part of not only my physical and emotional practices but also my spiritual practice. Nurturing and caring for oneself allows for a deeper and more intimate relationship with self, community and a deeper spiritual life.

When I am investing in myself it is as if I am putting deposits into the bank, think of these deposits not as money but as energy that can then be spent of the things you want such as deepening relationships, expanding career or achieving goals.

We cannot possibly show up and give successfully what our lives require of us unless we first have it to give away. If we simply give away all our energy from a depleted account that is when we lack excellence, balance and joy! It is also when we wear ourselves down and eventually break down.

Self-care needs to address our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Self-care can be anything that works for you or recharges you in a positive way.

I have created a self-care home spa experience that I incorporate into my self-care routine frequently (in whole or in part depending on the time I have set aside). Self-care does not have to be complex. In fact, most of mine is fairly basic yet highly effective. May this be helpful to you on your continued journey and exploration into the benefits of self-care!

Create Sacred Space

Start your home spa self-care experience by setting the tone or creating a sacred space. Turn the lights down, diffuse some lavender, light candles and play some beautiful relaxing music!

Breathe

Sit and close your eyes. Give yourself permission to put your ‘to do’ list away mentally and to let go of anything that you need to. Give yourself to feel whatever comes up. Spend a few minutes simply focusing on your breath. Breathe deep and relaxed breaths for a few minutes and just allow yourself to BE.

Detox Soak

Not only does a good detox soak in a tub reduce stress and tension mentally, physically and emotionally, it also helps to pull toxins out of your largest organ… your skin! Here is the detox recipe I use in my weekly baths, all of these ingredients can be found at WholeFoods or for more affordable option, on Amazon:

2 cups colloidal fine grain organic oatmeal

2 tablespoons of Coconut Charcoal

1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

½ cup Arnica Oil

2 cups Magnesium Flakes

¼ cup Castor Oil

Draw a warm bath, stir in ingredients above. Feel free to add any essential oils you might enjoy as well such as lavender (for relaxation). Soak for at least 30 minutes.

Abhyanga (Self Massage)

You don’t have to set aside time and money to get a professional massage or miss out on the benefits if you either can’t afford one or simply don’t have time. Abhyanga is an Indian self-massage ritual that has many restorative and destressing perks in addition to the fast, accessible and in expensive aspects. All you need is a good clean (organic preferred) pure oil! The oils I recommend are Aragan, Almond or a good Ayurvedic oil blend. Generously apply oil starting from your feet and slowly massaging the oil in and working your way all the way up your body, even to your face and head! Rinse off after, but do not soap up. You will want some of the oils to be able to seep in throughout the day or overnight.

‘Details’

This is a time where I will give myself permission to pamper myself by paying attention to all the care and maintenance of the small ‘details’ such as putting on a face mask, giving myself a manicure or pedicure, plucking eyebrows, etc.

Stretch & Flow Restorative Yoga

Roll out your yoga mat or even a towel on the floor. Move your body through some light yoga stretches and restorative poses. If you don’t know any you can google some restorative yoga videos on YouTube or I highly recommend Cheri Clampett’s restorative yoga classes that are available on the Yoga Anytime Channel on Amazon. Whatever you choose, remember the goal is not to workout, the goal is to restore and nurture your body. So listen to your body, ask it what it needs and try to provide that. Your body may need to just stretch out and rest fully or spend a few minutes in one restorative pose. Either way, let go of expectations and let your body lead you.

Ritual

Finish up by creating a little ritual for yourself. A ritual can be anything as long as it has the following elements:

  1. Set an intention
  2. Invite in connection and guidance from a higher source (this can be God, nature, love, etc.)
  3. A sacred place/space (which you should have already created at the beginning of your self-care home spa practice)

Your ritual can be done through the use of artistic expression like painting or drawing, through burning incense, sage or Palo Santo wood, it can be done with crystals, with movement such as dance, it can be done communing in nature or anything else. Rituals should be personal and meaningful and breed connection with your higher true self and with God, Spirit, the Divine (or whatever is aligned with your beliefs).

 

 

Copyright Dr. Rachel Dew 2019-2021. All Rights Reserved
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